Long Joke 8

An American lawyer invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him in his mountain cabin. Early in the morning, the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they were picking blueberries, along came two big Bears - a male and a female.

The lawyer, seeing the two bears, climbed a tree.

His friend wasn't so lucky and the male bear caught him and swallowed him whole.

The lawyer drove his car to town as fast has he could to get a policeman. The policeman took his gun and ran to the berry patch with the lawyer.

Sure enough, the two bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" said the lawyer, pointing to the male.

The policeman looked at the bears, took careful aim with his gun, and SHOT THE FEMALE.

"What did you do that for!" shouted the lawyer, "I said he was in the other bear!"

"Exactly," answered the policeman. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the Male?"

(The check is in the mail.)

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A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. 
The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." 
The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" 
"Food cold!" the man replied. 
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" 
"Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. 
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" 
"I quit!" said the man. 
"Well, the head monk replied, I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!" 

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There was a man who has two dogs, named 'commonsense' and 'trouble'. He always brought his dogs to the park every evening. One day, he only brought 'trouble' to the park, and left 'commonsense' at home.While the man was so happy playing 'frisbee' with his friends, 'commonsense' disappeared. The man was so sad and panicky. He looked for his dog everywhere but could not find it. A lady realized it and asked the man, "What are you looking for?" The man replied "I'm looking for 'trouble "pardon said the lady. The man replied in a higher tone "I am looking for 'TROUBLE'". The lady was annoyed and asked "Where's your COMMONSENSE?" The man whose mind was only about his dogs, answered "At home..."